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“If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked.” -Falstaff in Shakespeare’s Henry IV

Since the days when ancient tribes patted together grains and honey, since the Egyptians candied dates to amplify their sweetness, since wealthy squires of the Middle Ages displayed sugared dishes as a sign of wealth, dessert has beguiled mankind. The sweet tooth, much to the dismay of the dietician, seems as firmly embedded in our culture as in our chocolate mousse brownie sundaes. So prevalent is our hunger for sweet satiation that modern scientists have little hope for a cure.

Now that the new year is well underway, and our new diets have thankfully lost their luster, let us suggest a few tantalizing San Joaquin treats to outright drown, melt, and smother your sweet tooth.

Triple Layer Chocolate Brownie Terrine

Scientists estimate that approximately 40 percent of American women and 15 percent of men have cravings for chocolate. Could the dark chocolate layers from Ernie’s on the Brick Walk in Stockton be the remedy?

“Oh boy, is it,” assures Pastry Chef Michael Mojher. “This is our chocoholic dessert.”

Mojher alternates layers of thick, chewy, walnut-studded brownies with dark chocolate ganache (a smooth mixture of chocolate and heavy cream) in the stacked dessert, and then covers it with more ganache. Six pounds of chocolate go into a batch to serve thirty diners. That’s over three ounces of heaven per serving. He hasn’t calculated the calories, which is just fine with us; some things are better left undiscovered.

For “a little something to cut the chocolate,” the brownie terrine is served with a drizzle of custardy crème anglaise sauce, and a side of vanilla ice cream.

Ernie’s on the Brick Walk, 296 Lincoln Center, Stockton, (209) 951-3311

Molten Chocolate Cupcake

Dessert should be fun, so Lodi’s School Street Bistro serves up its most popular dessert with a wink. The dark chocolate cupcake with a gooey, molten center bubbles playfully over the edges of what looks like a handle-free coffee cup. Chef Will Owenby says the dessert is partially baked, and then finished in the oven just before it hits the table. You get a better fudge volcano that way.

“It’s a brownie that explodes out of the cup,” he says, referring to both the flavor and the dessert itself. The filling is a satisfying, slow magma melt of chocolate, and the whole concoction is served with a saucer to collect the overflow.

Homemade vanilla bean gelato serves as an icy foil to the heat of the perky cupcake, melting just enough to make the whole experience roll-up-your-sleeves fun. Owenby finishes it with a garnish of shaved dark chocolate.

School Street Bistro, 116 N. School St., Lodi, (209) 333-3950, www.schoolstbistro.com

Crepes Suzette

Nothing says sweet decadence like a flaming dessert. Le Bistro in Stockton has three to choose from. Bananas Foster and Fresh Fruit Flambé are fun, but for the traditionalist, it’s the citrus glow of Crepes Suzette that warms the heart. Chefs caramelize orange and lemon peels in a reduced sauce of orange and lemon juice combined with Chambord liqueur, for an added flavor of black raspberry.

“The sugar is very reduced and concentrated,” says Manager and Sommelier Roger Todd. Still, “it’s not too over the top sweet.”

Eight homemade crepes are added to the mixture, and set ablaze tableside with the help of Mandarine Napoleon liqueur, cognac made from the essential oils of Sicilian tangerines. It’s dessert and a show for two. (Because of the lengthy process involved with the tableside desserts, a minimum of two orders is required for the service.)

Le Bistro, 3121 W. Benjamin Holt Dr., Stockton, (209) 951-0885, www.lebistrostockton.com

Tiramisu

Dolce Italian Rum Cake

The word for sweet in Italian is dolce. It’s no surprise that the treats from this culture that celebrates cooking often originate from family recipes. Italian rum cake is a popular Mediterranean dessert with countless variations, and Angelina’s version, aptly named dolce, arrived with owner Steve Copello’s mother from Italy.

“It was something we made on very special occasions,” Copello says.

Now a regular offering at the family restaurant, the dessert features five layers of pound cake, dipped in sweet vermouth, and layered with a rich rum cream. The classic combination wasn’t quite enough for Mama Copello and the family; Angelina’s also adds a layer of roasted and chopped almonds for a crunchy finish.

Angelina’s Spaghetti House, 1563 E. Fremont St., Stockton, (209) 948-6609, www.angelinas.com

Baklava Cheesecake

Some desserts are rich simply by name. Combining honey-soaked baklava with creamy, New York-style cheesecake boggles the sweet lover’s mind even before the first bite.

Chefs at Papapavlo’s keep this creamy concoction from going over the top by reducing the baklava layers to one rather than the traditional four. A bite yields the tang of graham cracker-crusted cheesecake, with a crunchy baklava finish of baked phyllo, walnuts, and honey.

Chefs at Papapavlo’s keep this creamy concoction from going over the top by reducing the baklava layers to one rather than the traditional four. A bite yields the tang of graham cracker-crusted cheesecake, with a crunchy baklava finish of baked phyllo, walnuts, and honey.

Papapavlo’s also serves traditional baklava made in-house, and a chocolate-studded version as well—pure honey, layer after layer of phyllo, and freshness. Think of the single baklava layer over the famous New York dessert as, well, the icing on the cake.

Papapavlo’s Mediterranean Bistro and Wine Bar, 501 N. Lincoln Center, Stockton, (209) 447-6133, www.papapavlos.com

Black and Tan

Dark chocolate génoise cake gets a uniquely American twist with the addition of dark, Bock lager [check] from the brewery at Old Arch Restaurant. Chef Richard Hyman says the combination was a natural for a restaurant that already has a hops appreciating audience. That’s the black part. The tan in this stacked dessert comes from a scoop of caramel gelato. The final touch is a drizzle of chocolate ganache and caramel sauce.

Hyman says he asked Pastry Chef Jeffrey Lavotti for a beer-based cake one day, “and the next day I had one.” The presentation is upscale without being pretentious; and the beer, while certainly adding a masculine touch to the dish, serves to enhance flavors anyone can enjoy.

“The beer just gives it another layer of flavor,” Hyman says. “It’s got a little bit of a bitter edge.”

Old Arch Restaurant, 115 S. School St., Lodi, (209) 367-5799, www.archbrew.com

Espresso-soaked ladyfingers, creamy mascarpone filling, cocoa powder, and a hint of rum combine to make tiramisu an Italian dessert that lives up to its name—literally a “pick me up.” Tomas Magellan’s version features a sweet alternative to the bitter note of cocoa usually tasted. Instead, chefs at his namesake restaurant layer shaved dark chocolate in the dessert, and forgo the traditional cocoa powder on top.

“It’s just little bites of really pure chocolate,” says Magellan. A little amaretto added to the mascarpone brings another layer of flavor to each mouthful. Light layers that aren’t overly sweet make it perfect for warming weather.

Execution is everything for any tiramisu, says Magellan. The simple act of dipping ladyfingers into espresso takes timing.

“It’s really a learned art. If you do it yourself, it will never taste the same,” he says. That’s because the labor becomes part of the experience. Dessert is better when someone else has prepared it, he contends.

We think he makes a fine point.

Magellan’s Restaurant, 15 E. Sixth St., Tracy, (209) 839-2333, www.magellansworldcuisine.com