Real Resolutions:

Body Mind Soul

by Katy Berry      

The New Year's resolution has been around since the age of the Babylonians, who used to start the year with a promise to pay back their debts and make good with the Gods. Today, we still use January 1 as a day to start fresh and set goals to better ourselves. But according to the New York Times, three out of four people not only break their resolutions, but don't even last through January. We tend to bite off more than we can chew; making huge promises without a game plan for success. That's why this year we've put together a list of the most popular resolutions for improving your body, mind, and soul-along with some advice to help you achieve your goals this year.

Body

Exercise More
Personal trainer Gabe Subry says he sees plenty of people come in to the gym to get fit for the New Year, but six weeks into their programs, things start to fall apart. According to Subry, the biggest problem is that most people set unattainable goals.

"You need to set yourself realistic expectations. Most women are not going to look like Jessica Alba. If you're chasing an unattainable goal, you're going to fail at some point." If you want to make fitness a priority, then nix the "quick fix" mentality and commit to making a lifestyle change. Sound scary? It's okay. Getting fit doesn't mean you have to torture yourself for the rest of your days; in fact that's exactly what you shouldn't do.

"You need to find an exercise program that's sustainable; something you can live with but lets you go out and enjoy yourself," says Subry. Start trying out different regimens until you find something that's doable. Hey, you might even find something fun. And while pairing a healthy diet with your exercise regimen is important, it's also good to let yourself enjoy your favorite meals once in a while. If you start the New Year with a Rambo-esque workout plan and a diet of carrot sticks and coffee, it probably won't end well, so be kind to yourself.

Quit Smoking
Believe it or not, California has the lowest percentage of smokers among all fifty states (go us!). But for those that still light up, Smokefree.gov has a ton of great tips on how to prepare for the big quit.

First, set a date, write it on your calendar, and get pumped. Next, tell your family and friends that you are planning to quit; you're going to need their support. Then it's time to sit down and think about the challenges you have ahead. Find what triggers your urge to smoke and create a game plan so you can deal with those cravings when they come. Be sure to remove cigarettes from your home, car, and work place. Finally, talk to your doctor about the many other resources available to help you quit. There are a wide selection of overthe- counter and prescription medications available for those who need an extra hand. We've also heard hypnosis works wonders.

Eat Well
Similar to the exercise resolution, eating well should be viewed as a lifelong adjustment. Crash diets are often unhealthy and do more damage than good.

Pam Warmerdam of the Nutrition Studio and Diabetes Care Center Inc. in Tracy says it's important not to view eating better solely as a means to lose weight. That mindset often causes people to put too much pressure on themselves. Instead look at it as taking better care of your body. A great way to start is by planning out your meals. You should eat three meals a day, and two to three snacks. "Try to pack your lunch most of the time," says Warmerdam. "And try to keep dining out down to one or two times per week at the most." Warmerdam also says that the "perfect snack" to keep on hand is a fresh piece of fruit and a handful of nuts. Another easy but very important way to improve your diet is to cut out processed carbohydrates, which are most commonly found in white bread and white rice. Instead, switch to 100 percent whole wheat bread and brown rice. Chances are you won't even taste the difference, but you'll be doing your body a huge favor.

Drink Less
So you have a cocktail or five to wind down here and there. Okay, maybe it's time to cut out those empty calories, and try setting limits for yourself. For women, low risk drinking is considered to be no more than seven drinks a week, and no more than three in a sitting. For men it's no more than fourteen a week, and four in a sitting. You might consider having a no-drink policy on weekdays, or reserving your cocktail privileges for special occasions only.

If you have trouble controlling yourself around alcohol, then it's time to ask yourself why. Try taking an alcohol screening test at alcoholscreening.org. You'll be able to learn how much is too much, whether your drinking habits are putting your health at risk, and helpful information on how to successfully cut back or quit drinking altogether.

Mind

Get Out of Debt
David Berry, credit and risk management products manager at Financial Partners, Inc., says the first step in improving your finances in 2012 is to create a budget.

"You need a list of your essentials and non-essentials," says Berry. Begin by adding all of your "fixed" payments together, for example, your mortgage, insurance, electric, and phone bill. Then, you can create a list of your "variable necessities." For example, food is a necessity, but it's also a variable – it's not the same from month to month. Other items in this list may include diapers, gas, and household items. Look at your last credit card statement to estimate how much you typically spend, and always round that number up.

Then create an "unnecessary" column, which contains your entertainment costs. Once you've found out how much you spend each month, subtract it from your monthly income. If you're in the red, then it's time to do some trimming. Start with the unnecessary column and work your way up.

"The most common problem is that humans are rational, so if you love dining out, you'll rationalize it," says Berry. "Do you really need HBO and Showtime on your TV? You can start a whole spinoff conversation on how HBO's programs have enriched your life, but really?"

Be realistic and use common sense. If you're not in the red, then you should start saving. "After paying the necessities, you may have $200 left. But you don't have to dine out for $200 worth," says Berry. "Maybe just spend $100, and put the rest into a savings account, because stuff is going to happen. You're going to need new tires, or to refill your fuel oil. These are big bills. People forget about them, and if they're not putting money away, then when that bill sneaks up on them they have to put it on their credit card and let it ride. Once you're borrowing money, you're paying interest, so it costs even more."

If you're really bad at controlling your spending, you might consider opening an additional checking account to deposit money that's strictly for fun. That way, there is a very clear line as to when you need to stop spending.

Reduce Stress
Too much stress causes all sorts of icky health conditions like heart disease, obesity, acne, and high blood pressure. If you feel like you spent too much time in 2011 pulling out your hair, then it's important for your mental and physical well-being to find some relief, kick back, and relax in 2012-it's doctors orders.

Clinical psychologist Hyma Kunamneni, of the International Stress Relief Academy, suggests approaching the resolution with a positive outlook. "The key to reducing stress is not to do more, but to be more," says Kunamneni. "Stop worrying about the future outcome of your action. Be present now as you do your action."

Kunamneni suggests trying simple breathing exercises to help keep you in the moment. Her website, internationalstresslifeacademy. com, offers free videos demonstrating useful breathing exercises. Deep breathing also sends a message to your brain to relax, which helps calm the body and loosen tense muscles.

Kunamneni also suggests using daily affirmations to make changes in your attitude. "Write down the two things you want to change. Instead of writing it in the negative: 'I want to reduce my stress', write the positive outcome of what would it look like: 'I feel calm as I go through my day'."

Kunamneni says to focus on the affirmations each morning and evening, and even throughout the day, imagining them as real until they begin to manifest themselves. These simple exercises can help you lead a more calm and relaxed life.

Get Organized
In China, a popular New Year's tradition is for families to clean their houses from top to bottom. There's nothing like a clutterfree home to clear your mind and get ready for the New Year.

Carrie Trammel from Something Simple Organizers in Stockton says the key to getting organized is to "take little steps and do one area at a time," otherwise you might get overwhelmed and abandon ship. "Start with an area that is driving you crazy and isn't too overwhelming," she says. One of the most popular places to start is where you set your mail down. Begin by putting a garbage pail or paper shredder in that area. When you get home, go through your mail right away and throw out the unnecessary stuff. Sign up for paperless billing and get off any unwanted mailing lists to cut back on those piles of junk mail.

Another great place to start is the junk drawer. Pick up some inexpensive dividers, bins, or compartments so that everything in the drawer has a home. As the saying goes, make sure there is "a place for everything, and everything in its place". If you pick up something and it has no home, then give it a new home: the garbage can. Once you have one area under control, you can graduate to the next.

Soul

Find Love
Preparing for love requires introspection. There's a great deal of truth to the old adage: You must love yourself in order to love others. Family therapist Irit Goldman says if you want a successful relationship in the New Year, then start with yourself.

"Look at why things are not working in your life and make changes in your own behavior before committing to a relationship," says Goldman. "What were the things that stood in the way up till now?" Think about your past relationships. Why didn't they work? Was there a pattern, and if so, what will you do to make sure you don't make the same mistakes again? If you haven't had many relationships, do you feel you've made yourself emotionally available?

Once you've thought these things out and feel ready to meet someone, there are a few key aspects to keeping the relationship healthy. "Be a good listener, don't put yourself in the center," says Goldman. "Communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly. Be compassionate and empathetic." One shouldn't forget about his or herself either. "Set very clear boundaries in the relationship. Don't go overboard or say ‘I'll do anything for him/her,'" says Goldman. Remember that your needs must be met as well. And no matter what happens, be true to who you are.

Help Others
It always feels good to get out into the community and make a difference. Luckily, there are a wealth of non-profit organizations around San Joaquin County happy to have your help.

If you find that you're pressed for time and want something that doesn't require a major commitment, organizing a donation drive in your office is a great way to give back. You can contact the Delta Blood Bank to sponsor a blood drive, or you can arrange for other donations like toys, food, winter coats, and school supplies through organizations like Toys to the World, One Warm Coat, or the Stockton Emergency Food Bank. Or check your local newspaper for events like walk-a-thons to have fun while raising money for a good cause.

For a more regular commitment, visit volunteermatch.org to see what local opportunities are available. Whether you choose to mentor a child, become a foster parent, or serve lunch at a local homeless shelter, there are plenty of ways to make a difference, and every little bit counts.

Spend More Time with Loved Ones
While other cultures work to live, we Americans are notorious for our live-towork mentality, and having an overlybusy lifestyle often takes its toll on the people closest to us. If you want to change your work-swamped habits this year, start by finding out what's kept you from seeing your family, and be prepared to make some changes. That might mean no more overtime, and locking the office door promptly at five. But ignoring this problem will eventually have repercussions.

"The best thing to do is to sit with family and find out what's needed," says Irit Goldman, family therapist. "Are the children demanding your attention twentyfour- seven? Or do they simply want mom to show up at their baseball game? Does the husband want to sit in front of the TV, or does he want to give his wife a few hours each week for quality time?"

Once you find out what your loved ones need, plan to make it happen. That doesn't mean you should sacrifice all your free time, you still need personal space. But make sure there is a healthy balance in your life. Turn off the iphones/ pods/pads and laptops during quality time-this will help you engage and communicate with your loved ones on a deeper level. [SJM]