Something Blue
From Monterey to Morro Bay-a romantic road trip down California's Highway 1
After a courtship marked by a series of dramatic events and preceded by an agonizing 12-year separation, my first love, Mike, who I met 22 years earlier at age 15 and have loved my entire life, takes a knee atop a craggy cliff in Big Sur and pulls out a ring. He proposes on his birthday because, he says, I am his gift. It's at this moment that I know for certain he is the only person with whom I can, and will, spend my life. Naturally, when it came down to planning our wedding, we returned to the first scene of our second act, and set off on a coastal road trip to find the perfect beginning to our Happily Ever After.
Day One: Monterey to Carmel
Tidepooling in flip-flops is my idea, and I'm quick to take full responsibility for what turns out to be a rather unfortunate decision-"disastrous" if you ask my fiancˇ, who nimbly navigates Monterey's famed shallows like Jacques Cousteau while I nurse my battered feet on the rocks, soaking up the sun like a seal and laughing hysterically. I love this: Watching Mike gamely execute my ill-conceived plans long after I've ditched them. It has become a trademark of our relationship. "Hey, that's love," he explains, shrugging his shoulders and showing me the underside of an unwitting starfish. A few hours and at least one hundred sea urchin pokes later, like clockwork Mike starts to freckle, signaling that it's time to pack up for shadier lands.We find them in nearby Pacific Grove, which we happened upon by accident on our last trip, when out of nowhere Mike proclaimed that our romantic "chi" required rebooting after throngs of tourists flooding Monterey Bay Aquarium and Cannery Row had zapped us of our "mojo." Never without a compass or a map (in this case, one of many fold-out jobs he keeps stashed in his glove compartment-"real men read maps," he reminds me), Mike navigates us into one of the last enclaves of Main Street Americana. Indeed, Pacific Grove beckons with dollhouse architecture, historic landmarks, sand and cypresses, delicious edibles, and a colorful kingdom of Monarch butterflies.
Despite plans to window shop at the intersection of Lighthouse and Forest Avenues, we are sidetracked by the prospect of strolling the surf at Alisomar State Beach, where, like kids, we play King of the Mountain on the sand dunes (a beachcomber from way back, I win). We also skip out on visiting Point Pinos Lighthouse, and instead grab take-away tuna melts from the Pinos Grill and watch the world go by-first on the beach, and then from the car as it meanders along 17-Mile Drive, which connects sleepy Pacific Grove with deep-pocketed Carmel.
Because this storied gateway is especially curvaceous and the vistas are step-on-your-brakes stunning, the speed limit is set at an understandable 25 mph. Personally, this fast-laner was thankful for the slower pace, mostly because it helped quell the nerves of my nervous fiancˇ, who was making every effort to avoid cyclists weaving in and out of traffic.
It is near sunset when we arrive in Carmel-to many, the crown jewel of coastal California. While charmed by the stone chimneys and gabled roofs of the cottages here, it is a stopover for most people on their way to more affordable locales. Alas, Carmel did not make our list of ceremonial possibles, but because I love its incredible restos (shout out to Mundaka) and Mike will stay anywhere that Clint Eastwood once mayored, we ambled through town, picked up a bottle of wine, and did our best to sidestep the town's influx of canines. (Here, the four-legged enjoy Elvis-like devotion.)
This exercise so exhausted us that we headed for the Santa Lucia Mountains where, at Carmel Valley Ranch, we were greeted with calmer respite: s'mores by firelight and lights-out slumber.
I wake to a game plan that a rejuvenated Mike-infused with the zeal of a mad scientist-has devised and thrusts at me along with a piping-hot cup of espresso. He's ready to steam for Big Sur and has smartly provided me with the caffeine incentive to get on board. So, after a quick tour of the Ranch's wedding facilities-the floral gardens and expanses of green make it our frontrunner-it's to Sur, with love.
Detours: Monterey tide pools (seemonterey.com); Old Monterey Marketplace for Middle Eastern kebabs (oldmonterey.org); Passionfish for dinner (passionfish.net); Point Pinos Lighthouse (pgmuseum.org); 17-Mile Drive (pebblebeach.com); Mundaka for tapas (mundakacarmel.com).
Day Two: Carmel to Big Sur
By noon we are in Big Sur, a colony of bohemia that for the most part refuses to embrace Wi-Fi. Our state-of-mind immediately switches gears as we pull into Nepenthe for lunch. I love this clifftop outpost, not particularly for the food, which is good not great (the Ambrosia burger is always a pretty safe bet), but because it was once owned by Hollywood lovers Orson Welles and Rita Hayworth. Mike is good at buttering me up, and I wonder over lunch what else he has up his sleeve.
I quickly learn that it isn't the usual: Trekking to Pfeiffer Falls and beachcombing at Andrew Molera State Park. (Normally I'm pretty good at predicting his moves, this time Mike succeeds in thwarting me.) It's around now that the wind picks up and nearly sends me off the cliff upon which we're standing, but, ironically, it takes the good news to really blow me away. Mike has planned a day of pampering at the nearby Ventana Inn and Spa, where we will also stay for the night. I indulge in an El Sur Grande Hot Stone massage, and Mike submits to a Jade Grounding Foot Treatment. After our individual spa therapies we meet up in the Japanese hot bath, check to see if anyone is lurking about (coast was clear), and steal a few kisses. Big Sur is a place for abandon, after all.
To further rekindle the fires-by now well stoked-my genius fiancˇ takes me to dinner at Deetjen's Big Sur Inn, where we first celebrated our engagement. Within earshot of waves cresting against rocks and mere steps from the steep cliffs overlooking shimmering blue seas, we enjoy a heavenly dinner at the inn's cozy Euro-inspired restaurant and decide that we could get married right there, right then, in that very spot. The same is true for Ventana Inn and Spa where, later-buttered up and liquored up-we hunker down by the fire and drift off to sleep amid sage-scented redwoods.
Detours: Henry Miller Library (henrymiller.org); Big Sur Spirit Garden (bigsurspiritgarden.com); Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park (bigsurcalifornia.org); Pfeiffer Beach (bigsurcalifornia.org); the Japanese bathhouse at Ventana Inn & Spa (ventanainn.com); and Phoenix Shop for trinkets (nepenthebigsur.com).
Day Three: Big Sur to Morro Bay
We spend the majority of the day stopping at vista points along Highway One and snapping photos-or, as Mike describes the journey, a "stop every five seconds." For us this is no exaggeration, and after touring Hearst Castle and dinner in San Simeon, we roll into Morro Bay just before at dusk.My childhood home for a few years, Morro Bay has definitely changed, but one thing that hasn't is Morro Rock, a gigantic mound of granite that juts out of the sea and serves as a landmark for runners who use it to measure their distance. Neither one of us felt like strapping on our running shoes, so I introduced Mike to a favorite local pastime-collecting sand dollars and playfully whipping strands of seaweed at unsuspecting beachcombers.
Ironically, here on the very same beach where years earlier I played a game called "bride and groom" with a neighborhood chum, Mike and I now debated our ceremonial options-an endless list. Somewhere between discussing logistics-what if the fog rolls in, how about if the wind kicks up-Mike, ever the navigator, retook the wheel, reminding me that true and lasting commitment is a journey that is taken together.
Detours: Bixby Bridge (bigsurcalifornia.org); Hearst Castle (hearstcastle.com); Hearst Memorial State Beach and Morro Rock State Preserves (slostateparks.com). [SJ WED]
Destination "I Do's"
Because even Happily Ever After begins with a plan, the following destination wedding tips will put you eight steps closer to the altar.Budget realistically: Know exactly what you have to spend, and what your guests can afford. Marrying abroad is not always the least expensive option, so monetary considerations must be a given, after which a nonnegotiable guest list should be compiled.
Consult an expert: Hire a destination wedding planner to help navigate the cultural landscape, translate legalities, and facilitate details.
Consider customs: Not every country recognizes civil ceremonies, for example, and only permits couples to marry on certain days, so do your homework.
Don't procrastinate: A far-flung wedding requires time management. Translating and processing required documents takes time in other countries, so don't wait to get started.
Post the details: Design a simple website with wedding details, required paperwork, and links to travel deals for guests.
Update documentation: Be aware of a country's passport laws, and make sure that wedding guests have plenty of time to update their paperwork if necessary.
Arrive early: Don't leave anything to chance, and we're not talking about jet lag either. Land at your wedding locale at least two days before the wedding to finalize any lingering details.
Get a written record: Make sure that you have a written confirmation of all agreements prior to payment.
